No one steps into the same river twice. It’s not the same river, and I’m not the same person. – Heraclitus
The Return
We’re on the plane. For our return. To Costa Rica. To the hotel we owned for over 5 years. It’s been a little more than 2 years since we left.
I was both nervous and excited about the invitation from the new owners to return. Now that we’re almost there, it feels surreal. How will I feel driving up the mountain? How will I feel being greeted by the hotel team? We’ll see in a few hours…
No one steps into the same river twice. It’s not the same river.
Since our first time in Costa Rica in 2008, Mark and I have traveled there about 35 times! 35 passport stamps! So, we’re quite familiar with it.
But it’s not the same river.
The gentrification has increased in some of the towns we passed on the highway. A Starbucks drive-thru, KFC and Burger King. Other stores that previously were over an hour away are now located locally. A new stoplight along the highway. New mixed with old. Slightly more developed than before.
As we drove up the hotel driveway, I could feel my emotions begin to bubble. Before I got out of the taxi, my tears started. The new-to-us concierge, Henry, came to welcome us and I made a quick introduction as I tried to hide my tears. Two of our previous team members walked toward me, Vianney and Natalia, a housekeeper. We cried and hugged. Like seeing friends after 2 long years. We saw Juanpa, a chef, and I cried more.
It was overwhelming! I was trying to say hello and look around all at once. We arrived about 15 minutes before sunset so there was still some daylight. So much to take in and I was only in the parking lot!
It’s not the same river.
My eyes were darting everywhere. I don’t even remember where Mark was or what he was doing. Surreal. Taking it all in. Same pier entrance lights, same pool umbrellas, new pool chairs, same desk, new chairs. Guests watching the sunset.
While checking-in with Henry, he said, “I’m not sure what to tell you about this place that you don’t already know.” Exactly right, Henry. I’m not sure either.
“Did you build it?”, he asked. Oh, ha, Henry yes, what you see here, we certainly did!
Henry then took us to our room, and again said, “I’m sure you know how everything works here too?” Oh, yep, right again! The new owners had made a few changes to this room, but in general, we knew it all. Same furniture, same photography on the wall taken by Mark.
There were flowers, a bottle of bubbly, a gift from Natalia, and the team and the new owners had written some very nice welcome notes for us. I cried again.
We returned to the dining room for dinner where we sat at the bar with Vianney. Like old times.
We met new team members and said hello to former ones. Arbid, the new reservation manager, said to us, ‘Your names have come up a lot since I started working here!’ All good, I hope, Arbid!
It’s not the same river.
Mark and I decided that we wanted to be incognito and not let on that we were the former owners to the other guests. Although we were saying hello to staff members, we hoped we just looked like repeat guests. We didn’t want all the questions we had encountered for years. We wanted to just relax and observe.
How strange it felt to just observe. To eat breakfast in the dining room. To sit among other guests and exchange pleasantries as a guest. To not be the owner. To really be able to take everything in.
It’s not the same river.
We had big plans for the first day to-do-nothing, but the plan had a few detours.
We went to check-out the new spa. The new spa was previously our 2 bedroom villa, where Mark and I had stayed more than any other place other than our owner’s apartment. The new owners remodeled it into a spa and it’s absolutely beautiful.
After the spa visit, we started down the trail to hike to the waterfall on property. The trail takes you past 2 treehouse villas and by the hibiscus flowers that I planted so long ago. Those 2 treehouses were units that existed during our tenure, but the new owners had completely – and I mean completely - rebuilt them. They also looked amazingly beautiful.
And despite the construction that took place around them, my hibiscus was still there. They had been pruned, but I still found 1 ruby-red flower!
Down the trail a little farther sits my happy place, the yoga platform. The years are starting to show their effect a bit, but the platform was still beautiful with just a few small differences that only I’d notice. I was surprised that I didn’t have strong emotions as we lingered there.
We continued down the trail and got to the waterfall. We probably have walked to that waterfall 100s of times. It’s still beautiful. Serene, peaceful, familiar.
We spent that day, and our other free time just lounging. Sitting at the pool or reading a book. Mark took to the hiking trails multiple times.
How strange, how rare. I can count on 2 hands how many times we got to ‘just lounge’ while we owned the hotel and lived there. As anyone who owns a business knows, there’s not much down time. Always something to do.
It’s not the same river, and I am not the same person.
We got to see everything at the hotel again. The back-of-the-house, the storage rooms, the rooms we knew or built, and the newly rebuilt Treehouses. We saw the little changes and the big changes.
After living and breathing the hotel for 5 years, we see everything. And when you have re-built a place from scratch, you really see everything. Every new thing. Every old thing. Things that even pre-dated me and Mark. There aren’t many of those things left but I found them!
As owners, everything we saw on a day-to-day basis was our issue, our situation. How strange it was to be back and try to have an ‘I don’t care’ attitude, because really, I do care. It was just that it finally wasn’t our issue. Nothing was glaringly wrong, but I told Mark that if I noticed a detail that might have needed attention, I was relieved to simply say, “Oh look, that’s NOP!” – not our problem.
We have noticed this whenever we travel now. It’s hard for us to be “normal guests” anywhere we go. We compare every hotel we visit to this hotel, our former hotel. And we haven’t found any that compare.
And I’m not the same person.
We spent time with team members who still work at the hotel and visited with team members that no longer work at the hotel. We saw some of our former neighbors. We spent time with the new owners.
How nice it was to spend time with all of them. To reconnect. To see how they are doing and what they’ve been up to.
I am not the same person.
And neither are they.
They’re better. They’re well. I felt like a teacher whose former student returns to share their successes. Like a mentor whose mentee does well. Like a mother whose kids have successfully flown the coop.
I’m not the same person.
I was surprised at how often I teared up during our stay. I was surprised how much I still care about this place – despite all the stress and challenges we faced in the 5 years we owned the hotel.
But what I mostly felt was pride.
I felt proud of our hotel team - our Costa Rican family, and of the new owners and what they’ve done in their short time.
And sitting around the hotel, taking everything in, seeing things not as an owner but as a creator, really looking at what we built - both the physical buildings and a successful business, my heart swelled as I finally felt proud of what we were able to accomplish.
What do you think about our return? Have you ever returned to a place so close to your heart?
It seems similar to raising a child and letting them go on their own path out in the world. Your hard work in the past touches multitudes in some way, on and on.
I love how you ended this post “ seeing the hotel not as an owner but a creator!” Just beautiful